In the years that I’ve worked with teenagers, I’ve learned just a couple of things. There are a lot of teenagers that have a difficult time getting along with their parents, while at the same time there are a lot of teenagers who obey their parents. What I’ve learned is that for the most part teenagers want a better relationship with their parents, and vice versa for the parents.
But how do these relationships start and grow and is your child too old for this relationship to be created? Children are in need of love and support, this relationship begins as soon as the parent decides to start giving their child, their time and attention. I’ve come up with 6 rules to help parents with this process
Build a relationship with your child
It’s never too late to build a relationship with your child, while at the same time you’re never too early to begin this relationship. Ideally, this relationship begins when the child is in the womb. The biggest ingredient in this process is to listen to your child. Listen and show compassion to their needs, not every problem needs to be fixed or can be fixed. Your child just needs your love and support. Rule number one is to listen and show compassion to your child’s needs.
Plan activities with your child
Plan time with your kids; create an activity for you and your child. The activity can be simple it does not need to be extravagant, but do something fun. Create a fun relationship with your child. You do not want to have an intense interview with them where you drill them with a bunch of questions. I warn parents in your conversations with your children do not share your mistakes from your childhood. Your child needs to respect you. Rule number 2 create a fun relationship with your child.
When your child needs help, be there
If you’ve been good with rules 1 and 2 this should be easy. If you’re listening and spending time with your child you’ll instinctively know your child needs help. Let them ask you for help. If you feel that they’re not comfortable telling you what’s going on, it’s time to be a friend. Ask them what is wrong and when they tell you to be supportive of whatever they have to say. Rule number three is much like rule number one. Rule number three be supportive.
When your child obeys, reward positive behavior
As you’ve been spending time with your child reward them for their successes. Treat your child with greatness and reward them with love. Love is more than just buying things for your kids. Every, once in a while a nice gift is rewarding. Rule number four reward your kids with a warm heart.
When your child disobeys, provide a negative consequence
Always show love for your child. If your child is disobedient it is important to provide a consequence. This is simple if your child is disobedient you should take away one of their rewards with love. Rule number five does not reinforce negative behavior. Your child will respect you and they will learn a great lesson.
Reinforce your relationship with love
Rule number six always look for opportunities to show your child that you love them. Girls want to be told they’re beautiful. Boys want to be told they can accomplish anything they put their mid to. Love your kids and start today by creating a fabulous relationship with them.